I’ll never forget the moment my mom first told me she was going to take me away for a weekend to talk about sex and purity. I can still feel the roll of my 13- year-old eyes as I contemplated how uncomfortable that was going to be. I couldn’t imagine discussing this topic and wondering what my parents, and God, had to offer on this topic that I didn’t already know from movies and school.
However, what I didn’t know then, that I know now so deep in my bones, is that weekend would be one of the most monumental times of my life. It would lay a strong foundation for me to build upon over the years of struggle with femininity, acceptance of self, overcoming obesity and especially, lonely singleness. It was from this weekend, along with the stories, lessons and biblical truth taught by my parents, that I learned to navigate the path to giving myself as a pure and radiant bride on my wedding day…over 17 years later.
During the weekend away, and many days and weekends after that, my parents instilled in me the importance of remaining pure until marriage and why God created sex in the first place. They never taught me from a place of “have to” but more of the focus of I “get to” honor God, and eventually my husband, with such a gift. To help remind me of my commitment over the years, my parents picked out a ring for me to wear that would symbolize my commitment to remain pure - in body, but also in spirit and mind, so that I could truly fulfill God’s truest intention for sex and marriage.
It is this very ring that I wore to many occasions and life’s biggest moments: attending prom; graduating from high school and college; studying abroad in England; moving to Los Angeles as an actress and host; having my first boyfriend; and even being featured on national TV on my weight-loss show, TLC’s “Fat Chance.” It was always a constant reminder of the woman I wanted to be not just for my husband and our future family, but also for God. I wanted to purely represent Him in a world full of darkness and greed and instead, shine His light, beauty and love.
After lots of challenging years of waiting patiently and experiencing heartache, loss and even lamenting, God brought me my husband in the most miraculous of ways. On our wedding day, I was able to have him take off my purity ring, in front of all our family and guests, and then place our wedding band on my finger. As he says, it was the greatest honor of his life. I now get the honor of bestowing my ring to another important young lady, my husband’s daughter. She is about the same age I was when my mom took me on our weekend away. I am in awe and love the provision and faithfulness of God and how He continues to flow through our story.